When Someone Dies

"Lord, for your faithful people life is changed, not ended. When the body of our earthly dwelling lies in death we gain an everlasting dwelling place in heaven." — Roman Missal, Preface of Christian Death I (CCC 1012)

This chapter follows the Church’s care at the deathbed, the funeral, the grave, and in the years of remembering that follow. The sacraments prepare the living to meet God; after death, the Church continues in prayer for the departed and consolation for the bereaved. We do not assume that every person who dies requires purification. For preparations to make in advance, see Three Things to Arrange Before You Need Them.

What the Church teaches about death

Defined dogma At death "the soul is separated from the body", and it "will be reunited with the body on the day of resurrection of the dead" (CCC 1005). Death closes "the time of grace and mercy": "we shall not return to other earthly lives … There is no 'reincarnation' after death" (CCC 1013).

Judgement is immediate. "Each man receives his eternal retribution in his immortal soul at the very moment of his death, in a particular judgment that refers his life to Christ: either entrance into the blessedness of heaven — through a purification or immediately — or immediate and everlasting damnation" (CCC 1022). That is the defined teaching of Benedictus Deus (1336). "At the evening of life, we shall be judged on our love" (St John of the Cross, quoted there).

Common teaching The Church therefore never assumes at a funeral that the work is finished. The day of death begins the fulfilment of Baptism "even if final purifications are still necessary for him in order to be clothed with the nuptial garment" (CCC 1682).

Before death: the sacraments for the journey

Common teaching "The dying should be given attention and care to help them live their last moments in dignity and peace. They will be helped by the prayer of their relatives, who must see to it that the sick receive at the proper time the sacraments that prepare them to meet the living God" (CCC 2299).

Those sacraments are three: Penance, the Anointing of the Sick, and the Eucharist as Viaticum. Together they are "the sacraments that prepare for our heavenly homeland" or "complete the earthly pilgrimage" (CCC 1525). Viaticum is "the seed of eternal life and the power of resurrection" (CCC 1524).

Current norm Two rules from the Code of Canon Law bear on the family:

• "The Christian faithful who are in danger of death from any cause are to be nourished by holy communion in the form of Viaticum" (can. 921 §1).
• Viaticum "is not to be delayed too long … the sick are [to be] nourished by Viaticum while fully conscious" (can. 922).

Call the priest early, while the person can still confess and receive. The priest also imparts the apostolic blessing, which carries a plenary indulgence. If no priest can come, the Church grants a plenary indulgence at the point of death to anyone duly disposed who has been in the habit of praying, and herself supplies the conditions (Grant 12; see VII-A).

At the end, the Church prays the commendation of the dying:

Go forth, Christian soul, from this world in the name of God the almighty Father, who created you, in the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God, who suffered for you, in the name of the Holy Spirit, who was poured out upon you … May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life … May you see your Redeemer face to face. (CCC 1020)

The Church also teaches us to prepare for our own hour. She has us pray in the litany of the saints, "From a sudden and unforeseen death, deliver us, O Lord". She has us ask Our Lady's help "at the hour of our death" in every Hail Mary, and entrust ourselves to St Joseph, "the patron of a happy death" (CCC 1014).

The funeral

Current norm "Deceased members of the Christian faithful must be given ecclesiastical funerals." By them "the Church seeks spiritual support for the deceased, honors their bodies, and at the same time brings the solace of hope to the living" (can. 1176 §§1–2). The funeral is normally held in the parish church (can. 1177). "There is to be no favoritism toward persons in funerals and … the poor are not deprived of fitting funerals" (can. 1181).

Common teaching The funeral "confers on the deceased neither a sacrament nor a sacramental", but it is "a liturgical celebration of the Church" (CCC 1684). It may be celebrated at the home, the church and the cemetery, and has four parts (CCC 1686–1690):

1. The greeting of the community, with a word of consolation.
2. The Word. The homily "must 'avoid the literary genre of funeral eulogy'". It should instead illumine "the mystery of Christian death in the light of the risen Christ" (CCC 1688).
3. The Eucharist, the heart of the funeral. In it the Church, "offering to the Father in the Holy Spirit the sacrifice of the death and resurrection of Christ, … asks to purify his child of his sins and their consequences" (CCC 1689). The funeral Mass is itself the first great suffrage.
4. The farewell, "the last farewell by which the Christian community greets one of its members before his body is brought to its tomb" (CCC 1690).

Who may have a Catholic funeral.

• Catechumens count as members of the faithful for this purpose (can. 1183 §1).
• The local ordinary can permit a funeral for "children whom the parents intended to baptize but who died before baptism" (can. 1183 §2).
• He can also permit one for baptized members of other Churches "unless their intention is evidently to the contrary and provided that their own minister is not available" (can. 1183 §3).

A funeral is refused only to three groups, and only if they gave no "signs of repentance before death":

• notorious apostates, heretics and schismatics;
• those who chose cremation "for reasons contrary to Christian faith";
• "other manifest sinners who cannot be granted ecclesiastical funerals without public scandal".

In doubt, the bishop decides (can. 1184). Suicide is not on the list.

Common teaching Funerals have increasingly become "celebrations of life" that speak as if the dead were already in glory. They forget the one thing the funeral exists to do. The Church prays at every funeral for the purification of the one who has died, and no one is the worse for being prayed for. A soul in the accounts complains that "no one prays for her because she died with a reputation for holiness" (VIS-10). Let the eulogy wait; let the Mass be offered.

Burial, cremation and the grave

Current norm

• The Church "insistently recommends that the bodies of the deceased be buried in cemeteries or other sacred places". Burial "is above all the most fitting way to express faith and hope in the resurrection of the body" (Ad resurgendum cum Christo, 2016, n. 3).
• The burial of the dead is a corporal work of mercy (CCC 2300).
• Cremation is permitted, "unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine" (can. 1176 §3; CCC 2301).

When there has been a cremation:

• The ashes "must be laid to rest in a sacred place" (n. 5).
• Keeping them "in a domestic residence is not permitted", except in "grave and exceptional cases" with the bishop's permission. They "may not be divided among various family members" (n. 6).
• It is not permitted "to scatter the ashes … in the air, on land, at sea", nor to keep them "in mementos, pieces of jewelry or other objects" (n. 7).

Later clarification (9 December 2023). The Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith reaffirmed the sacred-place rule. It also permitted a defined, permanent sacred place for the commingled ashes of deceased baptized persons, with each person’s identity recorded, and allowed ecclesiastical authority to evaluate a family’s request to preserve a minimal part of the ashes in a place significant to the deceased’s history. The conditions include compliance with civil norms, exclusion of pantheistic, naturalistic or nihilistic misunderstandings, and the keeping of the ashes in a sacred place. This is not a general permission to divide or scatter ashes. Ask the parish about the required authority before making arrangements. Read the 2023 reply to Cardinal Zuppi.

The reason the instruction gives belongs to this guide. Burial in a sacred place "encourages family members and the whole Christian community to pray for and remember the dead". It "prevents the faithful departed from being forgotten … most especially once the immediately subsequent generation has too passed away" (nn. 3, 5). A grave is where the dead are prayed for, long after those who knew them are gone.

The days and years after

Current norm The Church offers Mass for the dead at the funeral and "on the third, seventh, and thirtieth day following their deaths, as well as on their anniversaries". On 2 November she offers it for all the faithful departed (Directory on Popular Piety, §255). The Catechism also names "the seventh or fortieth day after death" (CCC 1687).

How to have a Mass said.

• "A priest is free to apply the Mass for anyone, living or dead" (can. 901).
• Ask at any parish. It is lawful to give an offering, by which the faithful "contribute to the good of the Church" (can. 945–946).
• "Any appearance of trafficking or trading is to be excluded entirely" (can. 947).
• A separate Mass is owed for each offering accepted (can. 948).
• For the Gregorian Masses, thirty on consecutive days, see VI.

Keep their legacies. Trent ordered that "whatsoever is due on their behalf, from the endowments of testators, or in other way, be discharged, not in a perfunctory manner, but diligently and accurately" (Session XXV, Decree concerning Purgatory). Masses and alms left in a will are a debt of justice to the dead.

And then:

• the indulgences for the dead, every day and especially from 1 to 8 November (see VII-A);
• the November devotions (see IX);
• a family list of the dead, brought to prayer on All Souls' Day, through November and on anniversaries, as the Lantern recommends in IX.

What the saints and mystics report

Private revelation The accounts say surprisingly much about these first days.

• Funerals. Maria Simma says the dead "watch their own funerals", and that they "prefer to stay at home before the morgue" (SIM-R3).
• Masses. Requests for Masses are the commonest thing the dead ask: one Mass (MOD-26), three (SIM-01), seven (MOD-02), thirty (MED-76).
• Wills. They return over wills: unjust inheritances to be put right (SIM-16), legacy Masses left unsaid (MOD-17), heirs who neglected a father's pious bequests (EMO-71).
• Tears. Tears alone do nothing for them (SIM-R5). "Do not weep! … The smallest prayer is a glass of fresh water" (VIS-08).
• The grave. Holy water and candles at graves bring them relief (SIM-R5).
• The third day. It recurs: Sister Henry returns "on the third day" to thank St Faustina for one Mass and three short prayers (FAU-02). Sister Dominic lets her know she "still owes the third day of prayer" (FAU-15).

A checklist for the family

1. Before death. Call the priest early, for confession, anointing and Viaticum while the person is conscious. Pray with them. Keep a crucifix near them, and remind them of the indulgence at the point of death.
2. At death. Pray the commendation, or simply Eternal rest and a Hail Mary.
3. The funeral. Arrange a funeral Mass in the parish church. Ask for a homily, not a eulogy. Choose burial, or a sacred place for the ashes.
4. The first month. Have Masses offered: the funeral, the seventh and thirtieth days, perhaps the Gregorian thirty.
5. The will. Carry out any Masses and alms it leaves, promptly and exactly.
6. Every year. Remember the anniversary and November. Visit the grave and pray there (Grant 29).
7. Always. Put the name on the family list, and never stop praying on the assumption that they are surely in Heaven.

Sources:

• Catechism nn. 1005, 1012–1014, 1020–1022, 1524–1525, 1681–1690, 2299–2301.
• Code of Canon Law, cann. 901, 921–922, 945–948, 1176–1185.
• CDF, Ad resurgendum cum Christo (2016); DDF, reply to Cardinal Zuppi on ashes (9 December 2023).
• Directory on Popular Piety (2001) §255.
• Manual of Indulgences, Grants 12 and 29.
• Council of Trent, Session XXV.